What has happened to the typical American male? I’d say he has de-volved. It’s not pretty.
We’re getting soft. We’ve gone from carnivorous mammals that could kill vicious beasts with only a sharp stick for food to pansy desk-jockeys that have trouble opening a bag of chips.
What’s to blame for this appalling transformation?
Take your pick:
Environmental Toxins– The popular fertilizer atrazine has been show to transform a male frog into a fully reproducing female.
Feminizing Foods– Yea, go ahead and eat that soy burger, Mister Man! Did you kill it with your bow and arrow? Want a recipe for reducing your testosterone? Here it is– don’t eat much meat or fat while increasing your intake of soy foods and carbs.
Letting Yourself Go– Low testosterone has been linked with high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes. Check this out.
Weak Minds + No Strength + Laziness– If your idea of exercise is Dance Dance Revolution or you sit at the computer on FB all night after sitting at work all day on FB, you’re not exactly winning. Squats hurt. Weightlifting doesn’t feel good. Part of it is mental and part of it is physical. But sitting around eating pizza a playing Xbox is not helping your studliness. Go pick up something heavy. NOW!
Sad, I know. We’ve gone from a culture that could work all day in the field day after day to one that throws out their back picking up a paperclip.
What can you do?
If you or someone you know claim to be a “man” but exhibit these or similar symptoms-
Excessive whining about the paper cut you got 3 hours earlier.
Complaining that you’re too tired to do your pilates dvd.
Inability to eat 24 hot wings in under 3 minutes.
Please seek the nearest squat rack an get some weight on the bar. Then quickly find a place you can chow down on at least half a pound of beef. Repeat as necessary.
It won’t be easy, but we can (re)build REAL MEN in America. Will you join me?
